


Immortal Souls

by smeem



Category: Dark Souls (Video Games), Dark Souls III
Genre: M/M, My Immortal Rewrite, The Author Regrets Nothing, legend has it that reading this work kills you instantly, not too keen on the lore
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-10
Updated: 2019-08-10
Packaged: 2020-08-14 06:00:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20187439
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smeem/pseuds/smeem
Summary: The title sounds serious but I assure you this is 100% low-tier fuckery.





	1. Chapters 1-4

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [My Immortal](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/506374) by Tara Gilesbie. 

Chapter 1.

AN: Special fangz (get it, coz Im goffik) 2 my brother lorian, fallenknight666 4 helpin me wif da story and spelling. U rok! gwyndolin ur da luv of my deprzzing life u rok 2! MCR ROX!

  
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Hi my name is Holy King Lothric, Last Hope of my Line and I have long ivory white hair that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee (AN: if u don’t know who she is get da hell out of here!). I’m related to lorian (elder prince) and he’s a major fucking hottie. I’m irithyllian but my teeth are straight and white. I have pale white skin. I’m also a sorcerer, and I go to a magic school called Hogwarts where I’m in the seventh year (I’m seventeen). I’m a goth (in case you couldn’t tell) and I wear mostly black. I love Hot Topic and I buy all my clothes from there. For example today I was wearing black robes.

  
I was outside Hogwarts riding on my brother’s back because i am crippled from our curse. I was in the sunless realms so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. A lot of undead stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them.

  
“Hey Lothric!” shouted a voice. I looked up. It was…. Dark Sun Gwyndolin!

  
“What’s up Gwyndolin?” I asked.

  
“Nothing.” he said shyly.

  
But then, I heard the ashen one call me to be a lord of cinder and I had to go away.

  
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AN: IS it good? PLZ tell me fangz!

Chapter 2.

  
AN: Fangz 2 fallenknight666 4 helpin me wif da chapta! BTW unkindled stop flaming ma story ok!

  
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The next day I woke up in my bedroom. It was snowing and raining again. Ashen One opened the door of my room and drank some estus from a flask he had. My room was white marble and inside it had feathers on the floor. I sat up on my bed.

  
My brother, Lorian (AN: lorian dis is u!) woke up then and crawled out from a dark corner of the room. He flipped his long waist-length white hair and took out his glowing 1000 degree sword.

  
“_Aaauuuuaauhuahh_” he said menacingly.

  
Just then, Ashen One walked up to me.  
“Hi.” he said.

  
“Oh, dear, another dogged contender. Welcome, Unkindled One, purloiner of Cinders. Mind you, the mantle of Lord interests me none. The fire linking curse, the legacy of lords, let it all fade into nothing. You've done quite enough, now have your rest. ” I replied flirtily.

  
“Guess what.” he said.

  
“What?” I asked.

  
“Well, Good Charlotte are having a concert in Hogsmeade.” he told me. Then lorian took out his glowing 1000 degree sword and beat him to death.

  
“This spot marks our grave, but you may rest here too, if you would like,” I said. Suddenly Gwyndolin was there and asked me out to the Good Charlotte concert.

  
“Oh. My. Fucking. God!” I screamed. I love GC. They are my favorite band, besides MCR.

Chapter 3.

  
AN: STOP FLAMMING DA STORY UNDEAD OK! odderwize fangs 2 da goffik ppl 4 da good reveiws! FANGS AGEN LORIAN! oh yeah, BTW I don’t own dis or da lyrics 4 Good Chralotte.

  
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On the night of the concert I put on my black robes. I felt a little depressed then, so I slit one of my wrists. I read a spellbook while I waited for it to stop bleeding and I listened to some GC. I painted my nails black and put on TONS of black eyeliner. I didn’t put on foundation because I was pale anyway. I was ready to go to the concert.  
I went outside. Gwyndolin was waiting there in front of a bonfire. He was wearing white robes, a lot of snakes and a little eyeliner (AN: A lot fo kewl boiz wer it ok!).

  
“Hi Gwyndolin!” I said in a depressed voice.

  
“Hi Lothric.” he said back. We walked into the bonfire and fast traveled to the place with the concert. On the way we listened excitedly to Good Charlotte and Marilyn Manson. We both smoked cigarettes and drugs. We went to the mosh pit at the front of the stage and jumped up and down as we listened to Good Charlotte.

  
“You come in cold, you're covered in blood

  
They're all so happy you've arrived

  
The doctor cuts your cord, hands you to your mom

  
She sets you free into this life.” sang Yhorm (I don’t own da lyrics 2 dat song).

  
“Yhorm is so fucking hot.” I said to Gwyndolin, pointing to him as he sung, filling the club with his amazing voice.

  
Suddenly Gwyndolin looked sad.

  
“What’s wrong?” I asked as we moshed to the music. Then I caught on.

  
“Hey, it’s ok I don’t like him better than YOU!” I said.

  
“Really?” asked Gwyndolin sensitively and he put his arm around me all protective.

  
“Really.” I said. “Besides I don’t even know Yhorm and he’s going out with High Lord fucking Wolnir. I fucking hate that little bitch.” I said disgustedly, thinking of his ugly skeleton face.

  
The night went on really well, and I had a great time. So did Gwyndolin. After the concert, we drank some estus and asked Yhorm and the Abyss Watchers for their autographs and photos with them. We got GC concert tees. Gwyndolin and I crawled back into the bonfire, but Gwyndolin didn’t go back into Hogwarts, instead he went into……………………… Farron Keep!

Chapter 4.

  
AN: I sed stup flaming ok lorthic’s name is LORTHIC nut mary su OK! GWYNDOLIN IS SOO IN LUV wif him dat he is acting defrent! dey nu eechodder b4 ok!

  
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“GWYNDOLIN!” I shouted. “What the fuck do you think you are doing?”

  
Gwyndolin didn’t answer but he stopped the bonfire and he walked out of it. I walked out of it too, curiously.

  
“What the fucking hell?” I asked angrily.

  
“Lothric?” he asked.

  
Gwyndolin leaned in extra-close and I looked into his gothic red eyes (he was wearing color contacts) which revealed so much depressing sorrow and evilness and then suddenly I didn’t feel mad anymore.

  
And then…………… suddenly just as I Gwyndolin kissed me passionately. Gwyndolin climbed on top of me and we started to make out keenly against a tree. He took of my robes and I took of his clothes. I even took of my hood. Then he put his thingie into my you-know-what and we did it for the first time.  
“Oh! Oh! Oh! ” I screamed. I was beginning to get an orgasm. We started to kiss everywhere and my pale body became all warm. And then….

  
“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKERS!”

  
It was…………………………………………………….Firekeeper!


	2. Chapters 5-9

Chapter 5.

AN: STOP flaming! if u flam it menz ur a undead or a hollow! Da only reson Firekeemper swor is coz she had a hedache ok an on tup of dat she wuz mad at dem 4 having sexx! PS im nut updating umtil I get five good revoiws!

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Firekeeper made and Gwyndolin and I follow her. She kept shouting at us angrily.

“You ludacris fools!” she shouted.

I started to cry tears of blood down my pallid face. Gwyndolin comforted me. When we went back to the shrine Firekeeper took us to Andre and the Shrine Handmaid who were both looking very angry.

“They were having sexual intercourse in the Farron Keep!” she yelled in a furious voice.

“Why did you do such a thing, you mediocre dunces?” asked the Shrine Handmaid.

“How dare you?” demanded Andre.

And then Gwyndolin shrieked. “BECAUSE I LOVE HIM!”

Everyone was quiet. Firekeeper and the Shrine Handmaid still looked mad but Andre said. “Fine. Very well. You may go up to your thrones.”

Gwyndolin and I left the shrine while they glared at us.

“Are you okay, Lothric?” Gwyndolin asked me gently.

“Yeah I guess.” I lied. I went to my castle and brushed my teeth and my hair and changed into low-cut black floor-length robes and black high heels. When I came out….

Gwydolin was standing in front of the bathroom, and he started to sing ‘I just wanna live’ by Good Charlotte. I was so flattered, even though he wasn’t supposed to be there. We hugged and kissed. After that, we said goodnight and he reluctantly went back into his temple.

Chapter 6.

AN: shjt up hollows ok! PS I wnot update ubtil u give me goood revows!

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The next day I woke up in my bed. I put on black robes.

In the Great Hall, I ate some cursed Count Chocula cereal with cursed milk, and a glass of cursed water. Suddenly someone bumped into me. All the water spilled over my robes.

“Oh, dear, another dogged contender. Welcome, Unkindled One, purloiner of Cinders. Mind you, the mantle of Lord interests me none. The fire linking curse, the legacy of lords, let it all fade into nothing. You've done quite enough, now have your rest!” I whispered angrily. I regretted saying it when I looked up cause I was looking into the pale white face of a gothic boy with a spiky crown and white hair. He had a sexy English accent. He looked exactly like Joel Madden. He was so sexy that my body went all hot when I saw him kind of like an erection only I didn’t get one you sicko.

“I’m so sorry.” he said in a shy voice.

“That’s all right. What’s your name?” I questioned.

“My name’s Aldrich, although most people call me Devourer of Gods these days.” he grumbled.

“Why?” I exclaimed.

“Because I love the taste of gods.” he giggled.

“Well, I am a Lord of Cinder.” I confessed.

“Really?” he whimpered.

“Yeah.” I roared.

We sat down to talk for a while. Then Gwyndolin came up behind me and told me he had a surprise for me so I went away with him.

Chapter 7. Bring me 2 life

AN: wel ok u guyz im only writting dis cuz I got 5 god reviuws. n BTW I wont rite da nxt chapter til I git TIN god vons! STO FLAMING OR ILL REPORT U! Lorthic isn’t a Marie Sue ok he isn’t perfect HES A SATANITS! n he has problemz hes depressed 4 godz sake!

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Gwyndolin and I held our pale white hands with black nail polish as we went to the temple. I was wearing black robes (AN: c doez dat sound lik a Maru Sue 2 u?). I waved to Aldrich. Dark misery was in his depressed eyes. I guess he was jealous of me that I was going out with Gwyndolin. Anyway, I went upstairs excitedly with Gwyndolin. We went into his room and locked the door. Then…………

We started frenching passively and we took off each others clothes enthusiastically. He felt me up before I took of my black robes. Then I took off my black robes he took off his white robes. We went on the bed and started making out naked and then he put his boy’s thingy in mine and we HAD SEX. (c is dat stupid?)

“Oh Gwyndolin, Gwyndolin!” I screamed while getting an orgasm when all of a sudden I saw a tattoo I had never seen before on Gwyndolin’s arm. It was a black heart with an arrow through it. On it in bloody gothic writing were the words………… Devourer of Gods!

I was so angry.

“You bastard!” I shouted angrily, jumping out of the bed.

“No! No! But you don’t understand!” Gwyndolin pleaded. But I knew too much.

“Mark my words, Gwyndolin... You remain among the Accursed!” I shouted. “You probably have AIDs anyway!”

I put on my clothes all huffily and then stomped out. Gwyndolin ran out even though he was naked. He had a really big you-know-what but I was too mad to care. I stomped out and did so until I was in Aldrich’s cathedral where he was having a battle with Ashen One and some spirits.

“ALDRICH DEVOURER OF GODS, YOU MOTHERFUCKER!” I yelled.

Chapter 8.

AN: stop flassing ok! if u do den u r a hollow!

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Everyone in the cathedral stared at me and then Gwyndolin came into the room even though he was naked and started begging me to take him back.

“Lothric, it’s not what you think!” Gwyndolin screamed sadly.

My brother Lorian smiled at me understatedly. He flipped his long waste-length gothic white hair and opened his eyes that he was wearing a crown over. He had pale white skin. Lorian was kidnapped when he was born. Oceiros killed our mother and our father committed suicide because he was depressed about it. He still has nightmares about it and he is very haunted and depressed. 

“What is it that you desire, you ridiculous dimwit!” Andre demeaned angrily in his cold voice but I ignored him.

“Gwyndolin, I can’t believe you cheated on me with Aldrich!” I shouted at him.

Everyone gasped.

I don’t know why Lothric was so mad at me. I had went out with Aldrich (I’m bi and so is Lothric) for a while but then he broke my heart. He dumped me because he liked the Pontiff Sulyvahn, a stupid preppy fucker. We were just good friends now. He had gone through horrible problems, and now he was gothic. (Haha, like I would hang out with a prep.)

“But I’m not going out with Gwyndolin anymore!” said Aldrich.

“Yeah fucking right! Fuck off, you dogged contender!” I screamed. I ran out of the room and into Farron Keep where I had lost my virility to Gwyndolin and then I started to bust into tears.

Chapter 9.

AN: stop flaming ok! I dntn red all da lore! dis is frum da game ok so itz nut my folt if firekeerep swers! besuizds I SED SHE HAD A HEDACHE! and da reson andre dosent lik aldrich now is coz hes not linking the fire! MCR ROX!

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I was so mad and sad. I couldn’t believe Gwyndolin for cheating on me. I began to cry against the tree where I did it with Gwyndolin.

Then all of a suddenly, an horrible man with white hair started flying towards me on a dragon! he was wearing armor and it was obvious he wasn’t gothic. It was…… Nameless King!

“No!” I shouted in a scared voice but then I couldn’t run away because i’m crippled.

I shot a magic missile at him. Nameless King fell of his dragon and started to scream. I felt bad for him even though I’m a sadist so I stopped.

“Lothric.” he yelled. “Thou must kill Aldrich, Devourer of Gods!”

I thought about Aldrich and his sexah eyes and his gothic white hair and how his face looks just like Joel Madden. I remembered that Gwyndolin had said I didn’t understand, so I thought, what if Gwyndolin went out with Aldrich before I went out with him and they broke up?

“No, Nameless King!” I shouted back.

Nameless King gave me a gun (+9). “No! Please!” I begged.

“Thou must!” he yelled. “If thou does not, then I shall kill thy beloved Gwyndolin!”

“How did you know?” I asked in a surprised way.

Nameless King got a dude-ur-so-hollow look on his face. “I hath telekinesis.” he answered cruelly. “And if you doth not kill Aldrich, then thou know what will happen to Gwyndolin!” he shouted. Then he flew away angrily on his dragon.

I was so scared and mad I didn’t know what to do. Suddenly Gwyndolin came into the swamp.

“Gwyndolin!” I said. “Hi!”

“Hi.” he said back but his face was all sad. He was wearing snakes and a spiky crown kind of like a pentagram (geddit) between Joel Madden and Gerard Way.

“Are you okay?” I asked.

“No.” he answered.

“I’m sorry I got all mad at you but I thought you cheated on me.” I expelled.

“That’s okay.” he said all depressed and we went back into the shrine together making out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what is lore. where is lorian.


End file.
